Flowers over Roses

It was a fine Friday summer evening and I was meeting my friend Srishti whom I know since my college days over a coffee. I am not a coffee person nor I like tea. I am not even particular to what things I like and what I don't. We ordered something. I don't remember if we ordered Latte, Cappuccino or Espresso. I can never really differentiate them. I had a sip. For me it was okay-ish.

She asked, " How is it?"

"It is nice" I lied.

We discussed our old college days, work, relationships, friends who got married/ getting married/ going to get married and sports. Yes, Sports. I suck at it. I am not much into sports. And whenever it is Cricket, it simply reminds me of Jay. Not Jai, not J-A-Y. You ought to pronounce his name correctly- Jay.  Jay is a cricket maniac. All of the little knowledge of cricket I have is because of Jay. After this discussion, I was missing him which was kind of unusual. I would never really miss him. I felt an urge to text him though I cannot chat. I hate to chat because I don't know how to chat, keep your conversations going and when to end. Moreover, my replies are sporadic. Jay knew that I suck at chit-chatting. Hence he would always insist to meet him in person. As soon as we were done, I grabbed my phone and started to text him:

Me: Hey!!! Let's catch up sometime. Long-time no see!

Jay: How about tomorrow evening?

If I am worse at chatting, Jay would be worst. Suddenly I realized that it was Jay's birthday tomorrow.

Me: Are you sure about tomorrow? No other plans?

Jay: No. See you at 7 at my place.

Me: Done!!

Then I noticed that in this 5 line of conversation, I had used 6 exclamatory marks and Jay used none. Why? Well, this is what I am.

I know Jay for the past 2 years. In these 2 years of friendship, we had not celebrated our birthdays together. We had never exchanged gifts. But this time I wanted to gift him something nice, something really special and not materialistic. But what? Something related to cricket? No. I cannot think about anything.

I had decided to wish him past 12. Because I did not want to be the 1st person to wish him. I knew that he had got few friends and his family lives miles away. I called him at 12:09, wished him Happy Birthday!!! He sounded amazing as always. We talked for some time and then I slept.

It was evening and I was a bit nervous to see him. We had met quite often but I had never felt the way as I felt then. I had decided to buy him flowers. Any flower except roses would work. Because to me, Rose is more than a flower. I had never received a Rose in my 24 years of existence nor I had bought it for anyone.

I picked a pair of denim with a crimson red long sleeve t-shirt. I would put makeup occasionally, I decided to put it anyway. It was already 7, I bought flowers and headed to his place.


Jay had rented a ranch style house having a huge courtyard. He had maintained a beautiful garden in the backyard. He loves gardening. He had kept pet names for the plants in his garden like Ash, Jaddu, harry, Mahi, Chiku and Gabbar. I always teased him for not having Haryana Hurricane or Master Blaster. Indeed he is a cricket maniac.

When I reached his place, I saw him standing at the door talking to someone over the phone. He was wearing white mandarin collar casual shirt with sleeves rolled up to elbow and blue ripped denim. He must be almost 6 ft tall and slender and a gym freak. His wrists would always be bare. I had never seen him wearing a watch or something. It seemed as if he had a new haircut, his beard was well-trimmed. His almond-shaped grey eyes welcomed me and it felt as if his eyes were conveying a message that how happy he was! As soon as I reached his door, he hugged me and I wished him "Happy Birthday!!"

Me: You resemble Gabbar! Maybe because of your new haircut and trimmed beard.

Him: You mean Sholay Gabbar?

Me: No, no! I mean Shikar Dhawan.

Him: (Blushing like a tomato)Oh wow! It's a compliment for me. Made my day. Thank you! I can see you wearing makeup today. Hmmmmm! Am impressed! You always look this cute.

Me: ( handing him a bunch of flowers) These are for you!

Him: ( smelling them) Wow! These are lovely. Thank you! By these flowers, I got reminded of something. I would like you to meet Haryana hurricane and Master blaster.

Me: Seriously!? Did you get them?

His place was cosy and beautiful. Everything was well organized as always. There used to be a painting in the Hallway. The painting had a girl holding a flower with a lot of leaves. Leaves dominated the beauty of the flower. It was missing. I wanted to enquire about the painting but we headed towards the backyard.

Him: This is Bougainvillea. It is also known as a paper flower because the bracts are thin and papery. And this is Crane's bill, they bloom in generous flush. And both are perennials.

While introducing those plants to me, his face was illuminated like an incandescent bulb. I found his expressions more interesting than those plants whose names I would never remember.

Me: They are beautiful. But their names seem greek to me. I would be okay with Haryana hurricane and Master blaster.

Him: Obviously.

Me: No Roses! Huh!?

Him: No.

Me: Why? And they are perennials too.

Him: It is just that I don't feel like having them. (After a brief pause) Are you hungry?

Me: No.

Him: If you don't mind shall we lie down over here for some time?

Me: I would love to.

We lay down and there was a brief silence for a few minutes.

Since his childhood, Jay would love to lay down and gaze at the sky and with each breath, he allowed himself to dissolve into the sky, the moon and the stars.  He believed that it was a way to relieve from the narrow confines of the personality. It would connect a person to the vast expansive, open space of awareness that is their authentic nature. It would bring peace and Joy.
And I gazed at the cloudless sky thinking about not to think anything and enjoy the moment.

Jay interrupted.

Him: Meera, isn't it amazing to look at the same sky without looking at each other. Anybody can look at you but it is quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you see. ( Before I could respond, he continued) I noticed that you noticed the missing Painting in the hallway.

Me: Yes, I liked the painting. Why did you take it out?

Him: What did you see in the painting? I mean why do you like it? Is it about colours or the girl or the flower?

Me: Honestly, I wonder whether we all see the same world or not. Like now I can see you wearing a white shirt, you can see me wearing a crimson red t-shirt. But who knows that the 'White' I see is the same 'White' you see. Your 'White' could be my 'Black' though we call it white anyway. And it is not just limited to colours. I wonder that the moon I see now is the same moon you see. It is about everything I see, I hear, I touch, I smell, all of the senses. And maybe the girl in the painting thinks the same way. She wonders if the rest of the world can see the flower in the same way as she could. I know this is crazy. But maybe that's what I am. CRAZY!

Him: This was deep Meera. And I like you being crazy.

We both laughed.

Me: You know Jay 'Like' is not an ordinary word. 'Like' is very unique and remarkable.

He turned towards me

Him: Interesting, please continue.

Me: You know many a time it does not matter what place you are at but with whom you are. And it is not necessary that the physical presence of a person would make a difference. Yesterday, I was having coffee with Srishti. You know that I am not a coffee person. I did not like it. But as soon as our conversation progressed to Sports- Cricket specifically, that reminded me of you, I started thinking about you and then I enjoyed the rest half cup of my coffee. I do not mean that I did not like Shristi's company or something, but what we think about, with whom we are, of whom we think about makes a huge difference. Just like now, I am enjoying this, looking at the sky without uttering a word by being next to you. And you always make a difference in my life. Whether you are physically present or in my thoughts.
You are as special as the word 'Like' is.
This is not Love. Because being in Love is a different feeling. I believe that when you are in Love, you seek constant attention of your lover, that person would be the first and last thought in your mind. In love you are supposed to know the other person more than you know yourself. It is being over particular about anything and everything. There is a never-ending list of promises that you are supposed to follow until your last breath. There are expectations and no exceptions. It would make you happy, happier and happiest while at the same time it could make you sad, sadder and saddest. People would go finicky about Love.
But 'Like' it is free from all such things. No expectations, no exceptions, no promises, no forevers, no infinities. You get your freedom for being in 'Like' relationship with someone. You can Like-Like anyone you like.
It would only bring you Happiness. And that's enough.

Him: ( Maintaining an eye contact) Meera, I genuinely Like you!

Me: You mean Like-Like!?

Him: Yes, Like-Like.

Me: I Like you too!!!

Him: I have something for you.

He got up and bought a box wrapped in a gift paper and handed over to me.

Him: Thank you just being there. You know Meera, I do not speak a lot. People say that I am a good listener. But, you are the best listener. You listen to me even when I do not say a word. So please accept this for being a special friend whom I like the most and whom I would like to Like my entire life.

I got the box, unpacked it and it was "The painting"

Me: What do you see in this painting?

Him: I see you. I do not grow Roses in my garden because they are too cliche. It reminds me of forevers and Infinities.

My eyes widened with amusement.

Me: ( shouting) I feel the same. Rose is Love. And it cannot compete with our ordinary Like.

Him: Thank you for getting me flowers but not Roses. The famous quote from Alfred Lord Tennyson says, "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". Rather I would say, " It is better to have Liked and it is alright to have never Loved at all!"

Me: This is not your quote!

Him: Yes, I do not know who said this but I like it.

I moved forward and hugged him. And this was probably the longest hug I would have shared with anyone. And it felt nice.

(Picture credits: unsplash.com)